Last night, the Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber finally aired, hosted by Kevin Hart with appearances from Shaquille O’Neal, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg, Natasha Leggero, Hannibal Buress, Chris D’Elia, Jeff Ross, Pete Davidson and a special appearance from Will Ferrell as his Anchorman character Ron Burgundy. While not your traditional Friar’s Club Roast, the show certainly had its moments from several people on this night. But perhaps the best (and most surprising) segment came from Martha Stewart. The 73-year old TV personality, businesswoman, and writer lit into everyone on stage and while also providing her overall street cred (from her time spent in federal prison several years ago).

She may have had help from other writers, but in comedy, if you don’t have the delivery, the jokes simply don’t work. Well, Stewart’s delivery was spot-on. Here are some of her best zingers directed at the dais:

Kevin Hart – “Kevin is one of the biggest movie stars right now, and he deserves it. He struggled for years. When he finally got his first big paycheck, he spent $150,000 on a watch. I forget the term for that, it’s not ‘African-American rich’….it’ll come to me. Justin you know the word.”

Ludacris – “I believe the bedroom is the most important room in the house, but I don’t have to tell you that Ludacris. You have 3 kids with 3 different women. May I suggest pulling out sometime and finishing on some fine, highly absorbent Martha Stewart bed linens.”

Snoop Dogg – “You would never know that Snoop is 43 now, which is 3x as long as actual dogs live, and twice as long as most of his friends.”

Then she gave the Biebs some “tips to use for when he inevitably ends up in prison.” The first order of business was to make a shank with “a pin-tail comb and a pack of gum. I’ll show you how later, it’s so simple. I find Bubblicious works best, and it’s so much fun to say….I walked into the chow hall, picked out the biggest bull dyke and stuck her. From then on, prison was easier than making blueberry scones.”

Her final piece of advice was to find himself a good woman – “Someone you can smoke a joint with, or indulge in the occasional 3-way. I’m talking about a player in the boardroom, and a freak in the bedroom. So, Justin, my final piece of advice is to call me….or not.”

Check out Stewart’s full bit below, and some excerpts from Natasha Leggero and Hannibal Burress:

 Natasha Leggero:

Hannibal Burress: