Phish released some much-anticipated tour dates today, but most exciting perhaps was the confirmation of their first festival in four years. Festival X will be called Magnaball, and will be held in Watkins Glen, NY at Watkins Glen International, August 21-23. 

The announcement includes a great deal of information about the festival along with Phish’s goofy humor strung throughout. For example, in case you’re wondering what you can’t bring to the festival, here’s their “BOOO!” list:

NO Illegal drugs / drug paraphernalia
NO Weapons of any kind
NO Chains / Chain Wallets
NO Doubt
NO Beer kegs / hard liquor
NO Fireworks
NO Glass containers
No Diggity
NO Scrubs
NO Business like show business
NO Reply at all
NO Cars go
NO More drama
NO Rain
NO Unlicensed vending of any kind

No diggity, no doubt. As for what they’ll provide? “Shade Tents and Mist Tents, Past Tents and Present Tents” are among the items listed. And what you should bring? “Ear plugs, in case you hate the music of Phish.” Their “YAYYY!” list goes on to encourage fans to bring the following:

Backpacks
Hats (one fedora per crew) 
Sunblock 
Lighters
Cell phones
Sunglasses
Cigarettes
Small beach towel
Beach small towel
Fanny packs
The soul
The small of a woman’s back
The hanging curve ball
High fiber
Disposable cameras
Digital & Film cameras (non-pro)
Extra toilet paper (non-pro)

Their FAQs are always good for a guaranteed laugh. Here’s some more humorous info about the fest:

CAN I CAMP IN MY CAR?

You may camp in your car in Car Camping only.

CAN I CAMP IN YOUR CAR?

Let’s see how the night goes. No promises.

CAN I BRING MY COSPLAY OUTFIT TO MANGABALL?

This site is about Magnaball, not Mangaball. (But the answer is yes.)

CAN I STOP WRITING IN ALL CAPS

No.

CAN WE BRING ALCOHOL?

A reasonable amount of beer (limited to one case of beer per person – no full size kegs, no glass, no liquor), for personal consumption only (no vending), by folks who are of legal age (21) – will be permitted into the camping areas (not concert area). That’s a lot of parentheticals (sure is). A mini-keg is permissible, as long as it is plastic. A mini-keg will equal one case of beer. If, however, in the security’s judgment it appears that the amount of alcohol is excessive for the number of persons in the vehicle, or if anyone in the vehicle is under 21 years of age, the organizers reserve the right to deny entry of the vehicle and/or confiscate the alcohol. Full sized metal Kegs may not be brought onto the property. Please keep these things in mind and be sensible about how much you plan to bring in. Beer will be available for purchase on the concert field.

WILL THERE BE FREE BATHROOMS/SHOWERS?

Yes, there will be free portable bathrooms and free showers available. There will be separate M/F shower trailers, plus accessible facilities for both as well.

ARE THERE SHOWERS IN GENERAL ADMISSION CAMPING? WHAT HOURS CAN YOU USE THE SHOWERS?

Yes there are free showers that will be accessible for 18 hours of the day.

WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER SIX HOURS OF THE DAY?

That’s when…they use the showers.

WAIT, WHO ARE “THEY”?

Never mind. I’ve said too much.

YOU’RE KIND OF FREAKING ME OUT RIGHT NOW.

[leans in, whispering] Listen to me. They can hear us. You need to run. Far away.

[steps back, pretends like nothing is wrong] Ahem. Anyway. Do you have more questions?

CAN I BRING FOOD/BEVERAGES AND CHAIRS/COOLER INTO THE CAMP AREAS?

Yes, but no glass containers. And not into the concert area. And I don’t like your tone.

I LOCKED MY KEYS IN MY CAR, AND ALSO MY CAR WON’T START, AND MY STEREO RADIO IS STUCK ON SOME KIND OF CHINESE RELIGION CHANNEL. WILL THERE BE A TOW TRUCK ON SITE?

Yes, there will be a tow truck on site.

WHERE IS THE FARTHEST GAS STATION?

BP Connect on Brisbane St. and Thomas Ave. in East Perth, Australia.

CAN I BRING MY $20,000 IWATCH?

I guess? It kind of sounds like you just want to brag.

WILL THERE BE “THERE WILL BE BLOOD!??

There are no plans to screen that film.

WILL THERE BE PAYPHONES?

No. This is not 1982.

I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GET THERE UNTIL 3AM ON SATURDAY MORNING. I’VE GOT THIS WORK THING I HAVE TO FINISH, KIND OF A LONG STORY. CAN I STILL GET IN?

Yes. Camping gates will be attended 24 hours a day throughout the event from Thursday to Sunday.

IN SPACE, CAN ANYONE HEAR YOU SCREAM?

No.

Tickets are $225 for a 3-day pass including on-site camping and go on sale this Friday, March 20th at noon. They will begin shipping at the end of June. The band is also offering up a “keep it rolling” payment plan that will allow you to spread out payments.

A “Glen Close” pass is available for $395 which includes parking/camping in close proximity to the venue, separate venue entrance, merch package, access to air-conditioned bathrooms with flushable toilets and showers “so you can live like a human” and a dedicated hospitality host.

CID Entertainment is also offering a number of travel hotel packages, if camping’s not so much your thing.

“Like previous Phish festivals, the event will include numerous activities, attractions and art installations in addition to a series of performances by the band,” the Magnaball Facebook page promises.