Today’s hip-hop news reads like some sort of soap opera; a hip opera if you will. A known woman beater got into a fight with a bisexual R&B singer, while a fake drug dealing rapper who is actually a former corrections officer, but who is named after a real drug dealer – still following? – was the target of a drive by shooting.

Story 1 – TMZ  is reporting that Chris Brown and Frank Ocean were involved in an “all-out brawl”, allegedly over a parking spot. The incident went down at Westlake Studio is Los Angeles, where TMZ’s sources say that Ocean and his crew blocked Brown from leaving. Ocean is quoted as saying, “This is my studio, this is my parking spot.”

Cops were called, but Ocean stuck around, leading police to consider him the victim, while they still wish to speak with Brown. Ocean later tweeted that he “got jumped by Chris.” Steve Whitmore, a spokesman for the LA County Sheriff’s Department, downplayed the issue, telling LA Now, “Of course we’re going to investigate. It is our understanding it does not rise to the level of an alleged assault. As a matter of fact, it could be a minor scuffle over a parking spot.”

Ocean and Brown have traded words over Twitter and the press over the past two years. In 2011, Brown Tweeted, “I f*** wit Frank Ocean! Reminds me of a young James Fauntleroy or Kevin Cossum.” Ocean apparently didn’t like the comparison, considering Fauntleroy and Cossum are barely known artists who have achieved more fame in the writing world. He responded, “i f***s wit chris brown, reminds me of a young sisqo or ike turner. i just dont like underhanded comments. thats all im saying.” The next year, a French reporter questioned Brown about the beef, to which Brown responded, “No homo.”

So what really happened? It’s not really clear. The sources say Ocean started it, but the sources are TMZ’s. Brown ditched, which makes it seem like he was to blame, and the cops are calling Ocean a victim – but the whole thing seems so minor. The general public is clearly going to blame Brown, considering he beat up our beloved Rihanna, while Ocean has only made the news for bravely coming out as a bi-sexual in an extremely intolerant industry.

Story 2 – The Huffington Post is reporting that Rick Ross was driving in Fort Lauderdale, Florida early this morning when a gunman opened fire on the vehicle. Ross turned his Rolls Royce into a corner to evade the bullets and smashed into an apartment complex. No one was harmed in the incident, however.

We reported last year that Ross cancelled two concerts in the Carolinas when several local gangs, affiliated with gangster Larry Hoover, swore violence if Ross came to their cities. They were apparently unhappy with the use of Hoover’s name in one of his songs.

All I can think of, is that Rick Ross is such a good pretend gangster, that he has accidentally forced himself into the life of real gangsters. This would be like if Johnny Depp getting into a pirate war. There was once a time where Rick Ross thought, “hey, if I rap about selling drugs and drive by shootings, maybe I can be a great rapper” – and now he actually has to deal with drive-by shootings. There is some sort of lesson in there somewhere.

Also, this shows something about how dramatic a story is affects the press it gets. Rick Ross was SHOT AT. With a GUN. Chris Brown and Frank Ocean essentially got into a cat fight. Somebody ATTEMPTED MURDER on Rick Ross. Chris Brown and Frank Ocean got involved in a minor scuffle that won’t even register as assault. But the Ocean/Brown brawl will get so much more attention because of all the drama involved. Weird.