If you’re unfamiliar with Martin Shkreli, he’s the universally hated former pharmaceutical CEO who first came into the public eye for price-gouging his company’s AIDS and cancer treatment drug (with no generic option), Daraprim, from $13.50 to $750 per pill over night back in 2015. Around that time, he also happened to purchase the lone copy of Wu-Tang Clan’s mysterious Once Upon A Time In Shaolin album, a never-before-heard thirty-one track double album that he bought for $2 million dollars in auction. The poorly rendered cartoon villain come to life has since become one of the most hated figures in America, drawing criticism from both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, as well as getting into beef with Ghostface Killah for being “a shithead.”
Earlier in August, he was convicted of two counts of securities fraud and one count of conspiracy to commit securities fraud and now faces up to twenty years in prison. If you haven’t already and want to cheer yourself up if you’re having a hard morning, go ahead and check out the roasts by dismissed jurors from his court trial, which include that he’s “a greedy little man,” “he kind of looks like a dick,” and, “he disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan.” Now, Shkreli’s saga continues, as the convicted felon and greedy living ventriloquist doll has just put his one-of-a-kind Wu-Tang album up on Ebay for auction.
Originally listed at $1, the price of Once Upon A Time In Shaolin now hovers at around the $1 million dollar mark, with the auction still ongoing over the next week. In his statement on the album listing, Shkreli notes that he “decided to purchase this album as a gift to the Wu-Tang Clan for their tremendous musical output,” later whining, “I received scorn from at least one of their (least-intelligent) members, and the world at large failed to see my purpose of putting a serious value behind music.” He also notes that he has not “carefully listened to the album” and that “at any time I may cancel this sale and I may even break this album in frustration,” because, of course, he would.
In his listing, he also notes that half of the sale proceeds will go toward medical research and that he hopes “someone with a bigger heart for music can be found for this one-of-a-kind piece and makes it available for the world to hear.” He also states that he will not be making his donation to a medical non-profit until after he receives confirmation an organization will even accept his donation. This is most probably due to the fact that after he tried to donate money to Bernie Sanders, Sanders refused to accept his donation, and Shkreli throwing a completely characteristic temper tantrum took to Twitter to call the 75-year-old senator a “bitch ass.”
Anyway, here’s to hoping that whoever buys the Wu-Tang album is down to share it with the world. And I suppose thank you to Martin Shkreli for reminding all Americans during this politically divisive time that there is still the chance for all of us to come together, even if our common enemy is the spirit of corporate greed trapped inside a Keebler’s elf’s body.