“Phish Lot” is the smorgasbord of humans; you have the business men, the hippies, the frat boys, their younger brothers; you’ve got the free-spirited dancers and you’ve got the all-star winners of “Colorado’s Big Game Trophy Wook Hunters.” It’s quite special to see these many worlds merge in the spirit of music appreciation, and to stand harmoniously side-by-side with the many creatures of the world.
We started the series, “Funniest Things Overheard,” back at the Grateful Dead’s 50th Anniversary shows, (which was coincidentally one year ago today), and continued the note-taking at Magnaball and Lockn’ last summer. In the spirit of “Summer Tour” and three-day holiday weekends, we collected some of the best things we overheard at Phish‘s weekend at SPAC. Enjoy!
“One day you’re smoking your first joint, the next you’re at a Phish show.”
“Are you the hero that sold me Jell-O shots and got me really fucked up?” “Nope.”
“This is what it feels like if your life took a bad turn.”
“Did I tell you how I literally snuck a joint past security in my beard?”
“He’s got the look but not the wook.”
“Is Trey wearing a deep V?”
“Do you have any peanut butter for this fucking jam right now?”
“That’s the kind of guy that took a thousand hits of acid.”
“One marijuana please?”
“There’s literally a bottle of tequila inside of me right now.”
“I saw that cop from one thousand miles away.”
“Twiddle is just a Phish cover band that doesn’t play Phish songs.”
“And the lawn goes wild!”
“…Just trying to get the acid out of my teeth!”
“I NEED to give you love.”
“How many times have you been to jail?” “Threef.”
Overheard hippies taking unknown drugs: “I wretch and I gag a little bit but it’s all part of the fun.”
“I keep thinking this guy is with security but he is very much not.”
“He’s a wook in sheep’s clothing.”
“Is this pot?” “No it’s roofies, but they’re gluten free.”
“Let’s say there is a huge acid head, let’s call her Dana.. And she’s lost in the woods and ingested like 30 tabs. She encounters a mother bear while lost in the woods who eats her entirely to protect her kids from the acid monster (Dana). Does that bear then trip on acid because he consumed Dana?”
“Well actually, the most popular, most sold dildo in the world is 6 and a half inches. So….”
“I swear I’ve both bagged and tagged that man before.”
Exiting the venue: “This is the burrito line right?”
Grand Union Motel: “This is a cautionary motel.”
“I forgot my husband’s name.”
“Where we at, a 2nd grade birthday party?”
“I can’t fall asleep anywhere without being bagged and tagged… especially by my bandmates.”
“I’ll wait in this line till the clowns come home!”
Lee’s Campground: “It’s like Lee-et-nam up in this bitch.”
“This shit is like PHISH TOUR 2016 all over again.”
“I’m currently where wooks go to die.”
“It smells like Bassnectar farted in an old quesadilla.”
“No ducks, no deal.”
[Updated with contributions from PHISH TOUR 2014 group and L4LM Facebook Page]